The enigma called Brothers !

A few months back we had a blog meet. Me, Shail, Abha and Ritu got together to spent a fantastic afternoon where a lot of good food was partaken of and the art of blogging discussed and ruminated upon.

 But the star topic, a topic on which we continued to debate for a long time and have finally agreed to disagree on is the entirely unfair and bossy attitude of an elder sibling over the younger one. Ritu had also brought along Kid#2, her younger son, an extremely delightful young fellow who enthralled me not only by his quick wit but also because we both agree unanimously on the fact that as younger siblings we are poor downtrodden, long suffering souls.

Everybody else seemed unanimous on the decision that elder brothers or sisters are gifts from heaven (and in Shail`s case – elder siblings are not at all Bossy but rather gentle benevolent souls) but we both stuck to our guns. After all we were speaking from years of experience!

In my case my Brother is around 8 years older than me. Now 8 years is a rather long gap. Too long for us to be playmates but just right for him to boss me around.

When I was born, I suppose he had reached a stage where he was comfortably enclosed in his world of toy warships and cars and playing cricket or football and having the entire family revolve around him. Enter younger sister into this idyllic existence and he suddenly didn’t know what to make of me and how to fit an always whining wailing (his version not mine!) sister into the scheme of things. I guess the first few years went fine when I didn’t intrude too much upon his life but when I started school all hell broke loose. He was deputed to mind me for a few hours every week when mom had to work late and boy did he hate it! Like a lost puppy I always tagged along behind him and his friends and the poor fellows tried their level best to shake me off.

I guess somewhere while growing up, from hardly paying me a passing interest Bhaiya suddenly grew very much aware of my existence and discovered that I was the one person on this earth he could boss around. I mean mom and dad told him off when he was not behaving and I guess it rankled that he in turn had no one to boss over. Then his eyes fell on poor me! And there I was a sitting duck to all his lectures on how one should behave and study and generally act. I got a bit of respite when he went away to college but the interrupted program resumed during holidays. Not one act of disobedience or one stray remark would pass without a sermon. In my case it was really the case of “The Big Brother is watching you!”No wonder I was such a goody goody kid. With a teacher for a mother and a brother like him where did I stand a chance for doing anything naughty?

Off course we had vague notions of brotherly and sisterly love and affection for each other but I don’t think we connected very well as kids. There was simply too much of an age gap and the camaraderie that siblings closer in age have with each other as missing. Sometimes when I See siblings play together I feel a little bad, because I never really shared that with my brother.

So why am I moping around on this Rakhi? Why am I so upset that he is not here with me. I thought I had become used to sending him Rakhi through post and not actually tying it since we live in different countries.

Because somewhere down the line as you grow up, without you realizing it or consciously making it happen, Elder brothers somehow become the mainstay of your life. From berating you on lapses in good behavior they actually turn into someone you always go to first when you need a shoulder to lean on. You look up to them like a father figure, you ask their advice and horrors of horrors you actually follow it! And as much as you may deny it, a few words of praise or encouragement from them mean more to you than what anyone else could say.

They may not always be the first ones to call you on your birthday or to shower you with gifts or hugs all the time. You are still being scolded, you are still at the receiving ends of their moody spells, but then you realize that beneath all this is a love that nothing can ever ever break. You realize that there is so much more to a brother sister bond than just getting into escapades together. It’s a deep intrinsic bond, that can’t be explained. It’s just there. Like the air we breathe. It’s just there and it can’t be denied or ever broken!

He may have never told you how much he loves you or what an adorable sister you are, but deep down in your heart you know that when you need him, he will be there. And in the end, that is all that matters. Really !